December Water Humor (Much Needed)
Friends of Confluence West -
It’s been, and continues to be, a grim as heck water year - thankfully, Jay Lund, at the University of California (aka water guru), has given us another one of his lists.
While the Nine California Water Rites is California-centric, I don’t doubt that other western states can come up with their own lists. Think, for example, of a Colorado River Basin Water Rites list, or Arizona or Willamette Basin rites - come up with a good one, and we’ll publish it here!
For the West,
Kimery
PS - In case you missed our last issue, we took a look at how Colorado River Basin climate science has evolved over the past 10-15 years, and what that can tell us about where we need to go - That Was Then, Now It’s This.
PPS - And in case you missed the one before that blog, in November, we took a headlong dive into why most water tech entrepreneurs speak Martian and water providers speak Basque. Our new briefing paper - Lost in Translation: a Water Provider Emerging Technology Evaluation Checklist, outlines some of those reasons.
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“Rite” noun:
A. Religious or other solemn ceremony or act.
B. Social custom, practice, or conventional act.
By Jay Lund
Claim other water users are engaged in a “water grab” (when you grabbed it first).
Correlative rite 1.1: Declare a “water war”.
Insist that climate change will require actions you wanted even without climate change.
Blame water use by others for your water scarcity.
Correlative rite 3.1: Insist that others stole your water.
Correlative rite 3.2: Claim that your group’s water woes are caused by others.
Insist California’s water rights are unfair, because you should get more.
Insist that State or Federal authorities at some time in history promised you more water, and you want it now.
Assert your water use has extraordinary importance to people and ecosystems, even if this is implausible.
Expect impossible operational capabilities for water forecasters, modelers, and project operators. (Kimery - One of my favs)
Correlative rite 7.1: Blame the CalSim model for being unable to justify your advocacy position.
Insist on the “need” for State and Federal subsidies, but without regulations. (Kimery - another fav)
Correlative rite 8.1: Ask for one-time state and federal money, into the indefinite future.
Correlative rite 8.2: Ignore that water bond funds come largely from water ratepayer taxes and diminished state services to ratepayers.
9. Thirst in time; thirst in right
Correlative right 9.1: Protect prior appropriations at all costs, otherwise legal and policy disaster! (added by Kimery, with apologies to the guru)
Correlative right 9.2: Important to raise the price of water for everyone except our industry. (added by Kimery, with apologies to the guru)
Perhaps Western water rhetoric might become more concise by referring to these now-numbered rites.
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That was 2024; Now it’s 2025
We send loud cheers and great thanks to everyone who contributed to Confluence West last year. Since then, it’s safe to say that it has been one hell of a year - like so many of our colleagues, we’ve had to paddle like crazy to stay afloat. Now firmly back in the saddle, we’re ready to rock in January.
Please support Confluence West (aka Carpe Diem West!) Since our founding in 2007, we've built successful alliances and campaigns and brought new climate science and opportunities to advance innovative, sustainable regional water projects in the American West. You can read about our current projects and the ones we're developing. Thanks for your support!
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